While guys may think they have us figured out, they definitely don't. These women share things that just might surprise men about life as a woman.
We’re Bad B****** Too
You know how the men’s thread is lots of posts about how men can be really emotional and want affection and stuff? It goes in the other direction, too. Women can be cold and tough, but we’re told that we can’t be because then we’re aloof bitches. We have to craft a warm exterior to make other people comfortable, and extend massive emotional labor in our relationships with other people, particularly those with men. I am not a warm person. I don’t like to talk about my feelings with people, or be touched. Affection and being strongly emotional are draining for me. A good part of my energy day to day goes into appearing friendly, smiling, and accepting of touch like hugs from people I don’t necessarily care for. And while I don’t mind being emotional support for the people I do care about, please don’t expect me to always want to pour out my soul anytime you ask me what’s been going on or what’s on my mind. 99% of the time I am not thinking about feelings or anything serious at all. I would love to dick around and just have a stupid ass conversation about whether the people in the movie should be dressed like dinosaurs or not. I honestly feel like a monster a lot of the time for not being a very emotional being. Source
Dark Alleys Are Something To Be Afraid Of
The reason that I often feel nervous around strange men at night is because I have been given reason to be. No, I don’t mean my mother told me never to talk to strange men or to always be aware. I mean strange men have followed me, harassed me, taken pictures of me, etc. in all sorts of different environments. I’m not saying a simple “hey beautiful” either. The most extreme case happened when someone yelled something very obscene at me, I ignored them and walked to my car, and looked in my rearview to see them approaching. I booked it out of there. It’s not all men who do stuff like this, and even the ones who do probably aren’t aiming to physically cause harm. But it’s enough to put you on edge in all situations, and enough to make you on edge. You don’t know if one day it could turn out to be someone whose intentions are to bring you bodily harm. Source
This Body Crap Is Confusing
How confusing and frustrating our bodies can be. I had an ex that would just get so mad that I couldn’t orgasm. I wanted to, but it’s not like there is some magical button you can push. Also, monthly hormone fluctuations OMG. One day my face is flawless then a week before my period I breakout. My mood gets messed up right before my period and I cry for no reason and eat lots of cereal for two days, then the flood starts and mood is fine. It’s as confusing and shitty for me as it is for you I promise! Source
So Sore, But Not Sorry
Not to mention the crazy swollen sore tits for one week of the month, the deflate as soon as the red sea starts to flow. That in itself puts me in a bad mood without all the other hormonal crap. Source
Beauty Takes Perfection
How time consuming it is keeping up with beauty standards – shaving, waxing, plucking, hair and makeup. S* takes HOURS. Source
We Have Opinions Too
Being in a room full of men trying to be taken seriously is actually quite a daunting experience…Source
Girls Can “Boss Up”
It’s either “not be taken seriously because I don’t want people to label me a bitchbecause I’m handling my professional demeanor in the same way as every single man in this room does” or “be labeled a bitch because I’m a female and goal focused and I don’t take bullshit and I’m handling my professional demeanor like every single man in the room does.” A few years ago, Nikki Minaj has a piece in (I think?) Behind the Music. It was when she was up and coming and she was really worked up, having a conversation with business associates and she said something like “when a man handles his business, he is a boss. Everyone looks at him and says ‘yo he bossed up!’ but when a woman handles her business, we get the ‘B’ label.” I’ve never been a huge fan of her work, but that stuck with me. Call me a “b” all f_ing day, because I refuse to lap dog my way through my professional life. Source
This S*** Is Expensive
A good bra can cost upwards of 80$, and for large-breasted women it could even be upwards of 100$. As a woman with a DDD cup size, I could probably get a PS4 for less money than it would cost me to get 3 decent bras. Source
The “Gatekeeper”
I don’t like being the sex “gatekeeper.” It’s exhausting. I’d love to be carefree or whatever, but I need to worry about safety, pregnancy, STI’s, the progress of the relationship, etc. When guys don’t help out (eg when they don’t purchase and reliably use condoms WITHOUT COMPLAINT, express concern about health and safety, get tested, etc, etc, etc) it’s exhausting and generally awful.
Edit to add: Yup, now I dump guys who don’t take appropriate responsibility with sexual safety. But when I was younger, I wasn’t so smart or experienced so I wanted to share if it helps others, because those guys are out there. WHEN IT FEELS LIKE I’M MOTHERING YOU, I GET TURNED OFF. And guys who show that the care about both our our sexual and emotional safety, health, and pleasure????!!!! You better believe I feel more comfortable with them and get hella freaky with them bc I know they can handle it 😉 Source
Think Again, Dudes.
Some guys are absolute slobs, yet they want a girlfriend who looks like a Victoria’s Secret model… but the moment a woman announces her preferences, she gets called high-maintenance. Source
“I Am Just Being Friendly!”
How often men confuse my being friendly with flirting. Which often leads to inappropriate questions or suggestions, both IRL and online. Is it so rare for men to be treated with common courtesy that they no longer recognize it? Source
We Like Beer
That we are not that different. We like games, beer, and not shaving as much as you. Source
And Sports
Yes, I like sports. No, I’m not watching to impress a guy. No, this jersey is not my boyfriend’s, it’s mine, plus the 5 others in my closet. Stop f** quizzing me about sports. I know my shit. Also, you pronounced Toews wrong. Source
“The Friend Zone”
A lot of dudes lament “the friend zone,” but MAN does it blow from the woman’s side. Multiple times I’ve developed a really close relationship with a guy; we have a lot of the same interests, we have great conversations, hanging out is easy and comfortable, we laugh, we enjoy similar hobbies…you know, all the stuff that makes being friends worthwhile. You genuinely think that this other person values you as a human being, and that they SEE you as a human being. That’s how you see them, after all. And then one day they drop that they’re into you, and unfortunately, for whatever reason, you just don’t feel the same way. I’m not sexually attracted to my girl friends, and for whatever reason, I’m not sexually attracted to you, because, get this, I’m not sexually attracted to every man on the planet, even if I get to know him well. It’s not a thing I can control or force. It’s either there or it’s not. And suddenly this person that you know as an incredible friend is telling you, in so many words, that you were a waste of time. You were an investment, and the investment was a poor one. He’s disappointed because the reason he spent time with you, and cultivated a friendship, wasn’t the reason YOU cultivated a friendship — you know, for friendship’s sake. It was that he thought if he kept being “nice,” and was “there for you,” someday he could have sex with you, and now you’re telling him that it’s not going to happen? It’s a terrible feeling. You feel like you’ve been reduced to one part of your anatomy, and that you’ve discovered THAT is the only part of you this person ever valued. You’re not actually a human being to them. You’re a vaginal-gatekeeper. I’ve TOTALLY fallen for guy friends of mine that I figured out didn’t return my feelings…and I was able to let it go. Sure, I was disappointed about it, but at no point did it occur to me that our friendship had been a waste of time, or that I’d entered into the friendship with the intention of “earning” my right to fuck him. I just moved on, and was ok with being friends, because he’s still a human that I value and love. Edited to add, because I don’t know if this was clear enough in the original post, I specifically mean when dudes refer to this occurrence as being “friend zoned.” People are attracted to people who reject them ALL of the time. It’s a normal part of life. It’s not fun, it sucks for us all, but we get over it, and a lot of times we’re able to maintain an awesome and special friendship. What shouldn’t be normal is using language like “the friend zone” or lamenting that “you wasted so much time” on the person that isn’t reciprocating. That’s when you feel like your value as a human being is being reduced, and that deep down, there’s this funny part of them that really feels your true value is reserved only for the people that you choose to have a romantic/sexual relationship with. Source
It’s A War Zone
Women’s bathrooms are often absolutely disgusting. Source
Don’t Blame Us
I don’t always want to talk about my feelings, but people expect me to. If I’m crying, being asked about it usually makes it worse just let me cry and calm down if I want to tell you I will. I don’t really like be grand gestures, my husband texted me after he tried the food I made (made it last night while he was at work he’s eating it while I’m at work) about how delicious it was and he loves me because it’s not the best day ever. That was way better than him buying a bunch of roses or whatever. The appearance of my husband and my daughter somehow got decided it’s my responsibility. Even when I’ve been at work all day so my husband got my daughter dressed and he did her hair and took her to where she needed to go, if she has a spot on her clothes or he forgot a coat. I get a text or a call saying “WHY DOESN’T SHE HAVE A COAT!?!?” or If he decides to wear pants with holes in them I get comments like “why do you let him go out in those, you really should buy him more pants.” He’s an adult he can handle those things himself. He forgets sometimes to brush her hair because he’s never had long hair so it’s a new habit he’s learning but he is just as responsible for her appearance as I am. I’ve been given the excuse that “oh well you have a daughter if she was a boy..” no, because you know what? when I’ve gone out with my nephew I’ve been “blamed” for his appearance as well. Source