Sometimes people don't realize the simplest of things. One would think common sense would check in and they would realize, but they don't. Well, take a break and read these hilarious accounts of people not realizing simple things that should be common sense.
How Does a Teacher Not Know This?
“I was helping my little brother with math homework (maybe 3rd grade?) and he had gotten a question on it wrong because he wrote 1/2 and the teacher said the answer was 5/10… I emailed his teacher and she insisted that the two fractions weren’t equivalent. After explaining that one can simplify fractions, her mind was blown. This was a teacher at a public school” (Source).
News Flash: Not Everyone Speaks English
“That people in the Netherlands speak Dutch not English. I live in Australia and am originally from the Netherlands so naturally I have an accent. One of my colleagues asked me if all my fellow Dutch had the same accent. I said: ‘sure, when we speak English’ Him: ‘what do you mean?’ Me: well… you would only notice the accent when we speak English to each other which is not very often since we communicate in Dutch?’ Him: ‘so wait… you speak a different language there?'” (Source).
“I Come From the Future…”
“While overseas I had emailed some important documents to an office back in America. Some hours later during their working hours I called them to confirm receipt of the email. The woman on the phone said she saw no email, and that it was because of the time difference. Because I was 12 hours ‘ahead’, it would take 12 hours for the email to get to her inbox. She literally thought I was in the future, and I inexplicably had to explain that we were literally living in the same moment in time as we were speaking” (Source).
Wait, There’s a Bone There?
I had to explain to a grown man that a) women don’t have two breastbones and b) yes, he had a breastbone too. I eventually had to say something along the lines of ‘you know when you get a whole chicken from the supermarket?’ for him to get it” (Source).
Doesn’t Everyone Know This by Now?
“Food allergies. How hard is it to understand that a person is allergic to nuts even if the nuts are ground up really tiny? Or that they can’t just pick the nuts out of a brownie and eat the rest of it? ‘Oh, it’s just a little bit, he won’t even notice!’ I’m pretty sure he’ll notice his throat closing up” (Source).
Actually, It’s Spelled With Three E’s
“Beetles is spelled with two ‘e’s. She insisted the insect was spelled the same way as the band and did not get that the Beatles refers to the ‘beat’ of the music” (Source).
It’s Actually the Alcohol Itself That Makes You Throw Up…
“A friend of mine thought eating bread the morning after drinking was smart, because it would soak up the remaining spirits like a sponge. I thought she was joking at first. No, there is no alcohol left in your stomach when you wake up. She also thought the manufacturers put stuff in alcohol that makes you throw up when you drink to much” (Source).
Hey, Maybe She Owned an Aquacar
“That you can’t drive from America to England. Apparently she had never seen a map and had a very loose understanding of oceans” (Source).
Here’s Someone Who’s Never Traveled Far From Home…
“When I first graduated from college I was briefly an operations manager for an oil field services company in west Texas, which meant that I interacted with the field hands on a fairly regular basis. I once had to send a crew to New Mexico (different time zone), and spent a solid 5 minutes convincing the crew chief, who was a 40-something year old man, that time zones are a thing. As in, he genuinely thought that if it was 8 am in Texas, it was 8 am in Australia. I wish I remembered what he said verbatim, because it was f–king hilarious, and involved the differences in seasons between hemispheres somehow” (Source).
Just Hit the Pause Button
“That you can’t pause an online game. Goddamnit mom!” (Source).
It All Depends on the Meaning of the Word “Of”
“I work at a liquor store/bar. The other week a lady called and I knew it was going to be bad when the first thing she says is ‘I’m gonna make you guys my World Wide Web people.’ and not the usual ‘How late are you guys open?’ She started saying that she messaged someone on Facebook (at the time I thought she meant our stores Facebook page) and that they just replied with the letters ‘O-F’ I said ‘Oh maybe they meant short for October Fest, because all those are coming out now’ She then told me that No, she messaged someone in Colorado (we’re in Illinois) and they just replied ‘O-F’. She said if they said “F-O” she would know that meant ‘F–k Off’. I was so confused, like why are you calling a liquor store about this. Anyway I assure her that ‘O-F’ is not short anything but simply the word ‘of’ and that she asked the person a question and they were asking her ‘of?’ as in to clarify what it pertained too I would imagine. ‘Oh, so I am looking into it too much?’ ‘Yes, I think so.’ Thus ended a 10 minute phone call based around me explaining what the word ‘of’ is” (Source).
Someone Ditched Health Class That Day
“I’ve mentioned this one before, but I had to tell a growna– 25 year old woman where her periods came from. She thought something ‘opened up’ once a month and blood came out” (Source).
When Failure to Understand Simple Truths Becomes Dangerous
“Just because it’s posted on Facebook, doesn’t mean that it’s credible. You’d think a licensed dietician would know that organic fruits don’t cure stage four cancer” (Source).
The Things a Veterinarian Has to Deal With
“Why her dog’s leg wouldn’t grow back after I’d had to amputate it. Why you shouldn’t feed your horse raw meat, or any meat at all, even if he does take it when offered. Why his cat couldn’t live on a vegan diet. That those were their hamster’s testicles, not a tumor. That’s a plastic alien toy in your dog’s feces, not a type of parasite, but thank you for bringing it in in what appears to be your kid’s lunchbox” (Source).
Let’s All Get Paid for Using the Internet!
“I often have to explain what programming is to people. Most people have crazy preconceptions. My grandmother’s explanation was ‘oh programming! Is that that thing you do when you use the internet?’ ‘Yes, grandma. They pay me to use the internet’ In retrospect, I am at work right now…” (Source).
Someone’s Been Taking Harry Potter Too Seriously
“My mom was completely convinced that there was a spider that was the size of a f–king garage door…” (Source).
They Had Holograms in 1969?
“I’ve gotten into so many arguments with people over why the Moon Landing wasn’t fake and that 9/11 wasn’t holograms. Seriously. I’ve had people believe that it was f–king holograms. I’m so f–king done” (Source).
This Is One of the Basic Rules of Adulting
“That if you had a permit for something that expired in April, and no one has pulled you up for having an out of date permit, it’s still your responsibility to have renewed it at the proper time and your fault you didn’t” (Source).
Yes, These All Need to Be Done
“How to clean a toilet and the fact that it needed to be done. How to wash a dish and the fact that it needed to be done. How to change a light bulb and the fact that it needed to be done. How to sweep a floor and the fact that it needed to be done. How to do laundry and the fact that it needed to be done. Sad” (Source).
Those Old People Are So Cute When They Internet
“Those Old People Are So Cute When They Internet” (Source).