26 People Share The Biggest Jerk Moves They Wish They Could Pull Off

Ever heard the saying "nice guys finish last?" Yeah, look that up in the dictionary and you'd definitely find all these jerks!

Just Married!

When my dad road trips he writes “Just Married” on the back of the truck and he and my step-mom get all sorts of free things Source

Too Satly. Too Dry. Too Cold.

When people complain in a restaurant about a perfectly good meal just to get it for free. the reason I hate this so much is because it’s genuinely scummy and makes the server/chef/host feel like they’ve done a poor job even though more often than not, they haven’t Source

What A Good Worker Bee

My boss signs my PTO (paid time off, ie, vacation) forms but gives them to me to bring to HR. My boss does not see my paychecks, which are the only thing that list how much PTO I have. HR has no idea whether I’m working or not on any given day, since we’re on different floors and I work remotely a lot anyway.

I could easily bring my PTO form to my boss, and then toss it in the recycling, and take the days off without losing any of my accrued PTO time. Repeat as often as desired, as long as it’s not often enough to make my boss suspicious. When I quit, cash out my maxed-out PTO days.

Sadly, I’m too ethical to do this Source

A Sticky Situation

I used to clock into my shift at Walmart, then go to my car and just sleep. I was a cart pusher and we only had one radio that went to the senior pusher on duty, so they couldn’t contact us. The store manager only came in once a week. If I was scheduled to work that day, I pushed carts.

At the time, only managers had access to the schedule (other than the employee themselves). So the other cart pushers didn’t know who was supposed to be there, or not.

For 6 months I would get paid to sleep, or sometimes even just go home and play games. I would go back to work to clock out for lunch, eat lunch, clock back in – and resume sleeping/chilling out/doing whatever.

I don’t remember the day I started, or why (probably because it was so easy). But they never caught on.

2.5 years later they sent me a letter saying they saw me leaving the premises while clocked in, and wanted to pursue legal action. But since it had been so long they said I would have to sign a consent form that said it was ok. If I didn’t I could never work at walmart again…

I think you guys know which option I chose Source

Money, Money, Money, MONEY

I work with a guy who makes 6 figures. He and his wife had a “divorce”. They still live together and are completely happy together. The divorce allows him to max child support payments to her, and get reductions on his taxes. In addition she takes every single government handout for single moms. When his first kid went to college he got a full ride minority hardship scholarship since he has his mother’s (Hispanic) last name and she has “0” income. This scam has netted them thousands and thousands of dollars Source

And The Award Goes To…

Reminds me of a story in highschool. I went to a pretty big school in the old South, about 1900 students, so students were basically anonymous to the administration or instructors they’d never had. As a joke, one of my blonde haired, blue eyed classmates checked Hispanic on a standardized test. Months roll by, and then we have an awards assembly. There is an award for outstanding minority achievement, and he wins it Source

Faking A Disability

The doctor I work for has a couple friends who went on a cruise together with their families. Apparently one of the guys brought a blind person’s cane with him. He would walk around knocking things over and every time he went onto the deck even though the chairs would be all used up people would give him their seat. I normally wouldn’t believe a story like that, but I met the guy he is talking about and he is definitely the kind of jackass that would do something like that Source

Happy Birthday To Me!

My friend does this, but with birthdays. Not usually free food and drinks, it usually just snags a free dessert Source

A Loyal Customer

My friends sneak into movies all the time but I just can’t. I always buy a ticket Source

Sneaky Double Feature

I had an old guy do this at a movie theater I used to work at. I was closing up for the night and doing the final checks on the theaters before I locked up. This was after I had done the rest of the closing procedures and f—ed around for a bit so about an hour after the last movie got out from the previous run. Anyways as I go into one of the theaters there is this old dude sitting in the theater by himself, I thought maybe he had fallen asleep or something but apparently he had been waiting for the next movie to start not knowing why it hadn’t started yet but not wanting to go out and complain since he had snuck in. After I told him there were no more movies playing that night he actually asked for a “f—ing” refund. I’m like “A refund for what? The imaginary ticket we sold you to a show we are not running? You didn’t purchase anything so get the f— out”Source

Better Tips For A Bad Liar

I’m a bartender and I always have to admit that I have a boyfriend when guys ask if I’m single because I just am such a bad liar I know I couldn’t pull it off just to try and flirt and get better tips Source

The Baseball Con

I know a guy that loves to go to baseball games. I won’t reveal which stadium, but I’m sure many make the same mistake. There is special seating right behind the plate, for which the tickets are very expensive. Not only because of the location, but also because you get free food and drinks the entire time once you’re there.

So my friend is pretty talented with photoshop and will look up the remaining seats for that section about 1 hour before the game, and then edits a ticket with the seat you want. Then it’s as simple as buying tickets for the cheapest seats in the house. So, how this special section works is you get scanned at the gate, and then they visually verify your ticket at the entrance to the section, so you scan the cheap ticket, and then pull out your fake ticket and get it visually verified. As long as no one comes in and has tickets for your seat (super unlikely) then you’re golden and you’ve just gotten free drinks and food, along with arguably the best seats in the house.

I’ve never done it, but I admit I am pretty jealous sometimes Source

Karma’s A B****

I hate seeing assholes drive on the shoulder/in the breakdown lane when traffic is backed up; rather than wishing I were asshole enough to do the same, I veer out just far enough to block said breakdown lane so that the assholes have to get back in line Source

Slow Down Buddy

Slamming on my brakes so the douche tailgating me slams in to my truck.

I think I’ll just install a switch for my extra tractor light instead Source

A Quick Pick Up Line

A friend of mine used to go to bars with his g/f but they’d act like they didn’t know each other.

She’d flirt with another guy and get a bunch of drinks bought for her. When she was halfway lit, he’d move in, and act like he was cockblocking. Then he’d pull this lighting fast “pick up” and start making out with her in front of whoever had been buying her the drinks all night Source

For Free Please

Fat guy that used to go to my school used to put a strand of hair into the last bite of his MacDonalds big Mac just so he could get another one for free Source

Ding Dong Go The Wedding Bells

I have a good friend who, once he is a few dates deep with a new gal, always arranges cake tastings. you get to essentially gorge yourself with delicious wedding cake for free. pretty cagy Source

How Rude

My friend asks for fries without salt so they make new ones, he waits, gets handed hot tasty frenchfries and then asks for salt. 99% of the time, salts them on the spot.

Dick moveSource

Can’t Be Bothered

For midnight premieres of really hyped up movies that he’s psyched for (for example, The Dark Knight Rises or something), my friend will put his coat on the seat in front of him so no one will sit there and block his view Source

Cutting Lines

A relative of mine pretended to be handicapped to get off a cruise ship before everyone else. Got in a wheelchair and everything Source

Scamming The System

I have a friend who told me that he knows a guy who goes to Sonic when it’s super busy, sits there for ten or fifteen minutes, and the presses the button to tell them that they forgot to bring out his drink/hamburger/etc. They then bring him out a drink/hamburger/etc that he never had to pay for Source

Wow…

Not me, but someone I knew in high school used to grab lots of ipads at walmart on black Fridays, put them in his cart and act like he was going to buy them, then people would pay him for them to buy themselves Source

LIAR!

One day at Starbucks, I saw a guy walk in, pick up his phone, and then yell ” MY WIFES HAVING A BABY!!!” He got to cut the 8 person line, AND get 4 free coffees Source

Sneaky Little Game

In highschool I knew a guy who would buy a ticket to a movie, go save seats, then walk to the door man and tell him he lost his stub. Door guy always remembered his face and he could go to and from the front lobby passing out ticket stubs to all of his friends to get them in for free.

I don’t know how the edit’s work but I should clarify. The scammer gives his stub to his friend on the outside so that the door man will let your friend in. scammer doesn’t need a stub because the door man will remember him. doorman doesn’t know anything but that the scammer should be allowed back in because he saw him going out earlier and supposedly had a stub at one point which he “lost” Source