Movies tell us that big, sweeping romantic gestures are the sure fire way to win someone's heart. Here are 27 people who got that memo but instead of roses or a boombox blasting outside a window, chose far creepier, less winning gestures.
A Mere Mortal
“This happened to my significant other’s best friend. Her and the boyfriend broke up. Boyfriend turns up at her nephew’s christening in a church and shouts at the priest, ‘I am but a mortal man, why does the Lord deprive me of this angel’ – he was sobbing when he said this and was kicked out of the church. Someone saw him a couple of weeks later with his hand up this goth chick’s skirt behind a bus stop” Source.
Romantic Gesture Level: Fear For Life
“I think I was the creep in this situation….
I saw a post on Pinterest that was really cute and I wanted to replicate. A husband had attached photos on strings of him and his wife to balloons and let them dangle around the bed on the night of their anniversary. It looked very rustic and romantic.
My replication wasn’t. Hundreds of photos of me and my partner on strings taped to the ceiling (couldn’t find a helium at short notice) and dangling over the dining table where I had cooked us a meal. I lit some candles, turned out the lights and waited for her to come home from uni. It was only when she walked in and asked if I was going to kill her did I realize how f–king creepy the set up looked” Source.
It Kind of Ruined Christmas
“I had been casually seeing a guy who had just moved to Canada from South Africa. He was really nice, but I just wasn’t feeling the spark and knew it wasn’t going anywhere. However, he had no family in Canada and my mom had invited him to Christmas dinner, so I figured I’d break up with him afterwards.
Christmas Day, in front of my siblings, parents, grandparents, etc. He gives me a bracelet as a gift. He tells everyone that where he’s from, all boys collect hair from an elephants tail and make a bracelet to prove themselves a man. They carry this bracelet for the rest of their lives until they meet their soulmates, then give it to her. And then he gave it to me. With all my family staring at me.
Yes, I returned the bracelet after I broke it off with him a few days later” Source.
Let Her Eat Cake
“My boyfriend at the time made me a cake for my birthday but wouldn’t let me share it with anyone because he ‘made it for me’. So I basically had to eat an entire birthday cake by myself. Very strange” Source.
Middle School Trauma
“My time to shine! In middle school I had a girl who was absolutely in love with me. Now I’ve always tried to be nice but wow did she make it hard. Her name was Patsy but a lot of people in the school called her Fatsy, as she was definitely obese. She was also a tiny bit slow and had a very noticeable lazy eye. It’s safe to say Middle school me was not digging it.
Anyway, Patsy decided one day she needed to declare her love for me once again so during P.E. class, when all 200 kids of 2nd period P.E. were in the gym, she grabbed the microphone and said ‘This song is dedicated to-my name- ‘and proceeded to sing me this long rendition of All for You or some lovey dovey crappy song. Now it sounds sweet but keep in mind this is in middle school and I’m surrounded by cruel little a–holes.
Once it was over she looked right at me (which was hard as I was all the way in the back of the bleachers) and got down on one knee and asked me out. If everyone wasn’t laughing at me before, they were now. She came up to me and I just said I’ll think about it since if I said no I’d look like such an a–hole and if I said yes, well… Then I’d be stuck with Patsy. This was also not the only time she sang to me but was definitely one of the most embarrassing moments in my life” Source.
Wow
“My gf of two years in high school cheated on me so I broke up with her. She became a complete stalker and would wait outside my house in her car about everyday waiting for me to get home from school, practice, or just being out with friends on a Saturday night.
One night I noticed her parked down the street from my house when I was pulling into my driveway. I opened the garage, drove in and immediately closed it once I knew my car was clear of the door. She f–king ran from her car so fast to try and get in the garage before it closed. She DOVE under the garage door and slid on the floor just so she could have an attempt to spill her sob story again.
I yelled for my parents to come down, which they did. My parents called my exes parents telling them she was being extreme at our house and asked they come get her as she was crying hysterically and shouldn’t drive. When her parents said they’d be right over, my ex excused herself to use the restroom. Fast forward 5 minutes, she comes out with her wrist dripping blood and tells my family and I we are the reason she hurts herself. She took my shaving razor apart in my bathroom and thought by hurting herself it would make me feel really bad for her and want to be with her again.
Her parents immediately took her out of school and she was checked into a facility for about a month to help her cope with her issues” Source.
Ouch
“Told him I wouldn’t date him so he rode his bike into the front of my truck while I was going like 5mph in a parking lot, dramatically threw himself over my hood and acted like he was dying so people would call 911. He thought he could guilt me into dating him. It didn’t work” Source.
Terrifying
I broke up with someone (after he previously wouldn’t accept the breakup), and he left a rose on my door step with a torn piece out of The Crow graphic novel that said ‘My valentine has hollow eyes’ Source.
Too Far
“Girlfriend stole my favorite book, put lipstick kisses and oil all over the maps and prologue. I had that book for years. Was certainly the reason we broke up. That and her death threats”Source.
Critical Reception
“A woman once wrote a play about me and had it performed at university second year. There was an entire drama department involved and it was performed in front of hundreds of people. To say it was awkward is an understatement.
It wasn’t a good play, it was unrealistic, the characters were ridiculously shallow and not very well defined. The character that portrayed her was the only one who had any kind of deeper personality than whatever archetype she could come up with. Unfortunately she came across as a whiny clinger who couldn’t get over some kind of mystical thing that had happened between her character and mine. Nothing had happened by the way” Source.
Help!
“We were 14, I think. He cut his arm with his compass in a quiet part of class and then bled on a page of my notebook. Then said, ‘My life and blood are yours, my Queen.’ We hardly knew each other” Source.
Still A Better Love Story Than Twilight
“I had a girl in high school who had a crush on me. She also believed that she was like, a fairy princess from another realm and she had twin daughters there and ruled over it all or something? I didn’t understand it then, and I definitely don’t now.
Long story short she wound up telling me that she was stuck in our realm because she was giving her immortality up for my love.
It was a nice thought and I doubt someone will ever kiss eternal life away for me again, but definitely the creepiest and cringiest way someone’s proved their love for me”Source.
I Like This One A Latte
Well, i just went on a date where a guy bought me a giftbasket (after meeting me once for an hour) with a mug in it that said ‘I love you a latte’. He proceeded to talk about us having sex through the whole dinner, and said, ‘You’re really doing it for me right now’. He jokingly said i could check and see if he had a boner under the table. There was more awkward as hell stuff, but definitely not a second date”Source.
….
“Broke up with a guy because he legitimately was not a mentally healthy person. He tried to get me back by carving my name in his arm with a knife. Didn’t really help convince me that he was sane” Source.
Poor Nana and Pop Pop
“Sniffed my socks I just took off. The he says in front of my parents and grandparents, ‘Ahhhh sweet nectar'” Source.
He Even Involved His Grandma?
“I broke up with him after a long on again off again relationship. He still continued to call me everyday and leave messages. Many months later I moved on and got into a serious relationship with someone else and was happy. One early morning, I was at work but away from my desk. One of the IT guys found me and gave me my phone saying it was ringing NON STOP. It was the ex. As i went to open my phone he was calling me.
I picked up only for him to tell me that I gave him an STD and his GRANDMOTHER is in the background saying, ‘Yeah, you gave him something.’
I can hear him in the background saying, ‘Right Grandma, she gave me an STD!’
I have never in my life had an STD and told him we haven’t been together for almost a year and I knew it wasn’t me! You know what he said?
‘It’s okay, the Dr. said it’s curable- come to dinner with me tonight.’
I hung up, changed my number, made an appointment to prove I do not have anything, and called my boyfriend to let him know what just happened.
Doctor said i was clean and i should consider a restraining order as this was not the first time he heard of a situation like this to keep a girlfriend/boyfriend” Source.
Wow, They Got Married
“I collected bugs for a guy I had a crush on. In university. I put about 10 random household bugs in a jar for him, but then they ate one another so I had to refill it without the cannibals. In the end it was a mason jar with about 30 bugs inside, in varying shades of life/death/decomposition.
I gave it to him and for whatever reason, he wasn’t impressed. I noticed that he left it outside my dorm building so I returned it to him once again.
Unrelated: he and I have been together for 13 years now. He still thinks the jar of bugs was weird though” Source.
HR Wasn’t Happy
Shutterstock/Firma V
“My colleague, on my second day of a new job, used the whiteboard to draw a stick figure illustration of the two of us and our future kids” Source.
Persistance
Shutterstock/Dean Drobot
“My ex and I were long distance. He was extremely unstable (he told me he loved me… two hours after we met. Didn’t even know my first name). One night, we got into a fight, and I told him I was going to bed. He kept calling me over and over, and around the third or fourth time I put my phone on silent. I told him I needed to sleep, and to stop calling me.
Fell asleep. Woke up in the morning, had a solid 40 missed calls. And the only reason he stopped calling me? My sister and I were sharing a room at the time, and she saw that he was calling, and she answered and tried to talk to him to calm him down. They were on the phone for about an hour, I think” Source.
The Unwanted Serenade Is The Best Serenade
“I dated a guy in high school a few times and decided not to go out with him anymore after he drove out to a dark road and tried the old ‘put out or get out’ thing. I told him to get bent and jogged home. Anyway, he had his mom call me and ask me if he could have another chance.
When that didn’t work, he sneaked out of the house and put valentine message hearts all over the hood of my car in the shape of a heart for me to find the next morning. Unfortunately, it rained and I didn’t discover the hearts until they had melted in the rain and then been baked into my car paint by the sun.
After I threw a fit about my car, he got his buddies together and they all sang ‘You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling’ to me in the cafeteria” Source.
I Predict a Restraining Order
Shuttstock/Pathdoc
“My friend has this weird obsession with someone and when her and her friend went on holiday he booked the same hotel for the same time and length” Source.
He Was Where???
“I broke up with my boyfriend of three years in high school. His older sister drove to my house and asked me to sit in her car and talk about it. She was cool, so I did. After trying to persuade me to take him back, and me strongly refusing she tells me she has something for me in the trunk. We get out, go back and open the trunk and he is in the trunk. Crying and begging me to get back with him. I refused.
I broke up with him because he cheated on me. It was right before senior prom and I already had another date who is now my husband so that turned out well!” Source
Fine Line in Lipstick
“I had gone on two dates with this one girl. She was friends with my female roommate at the time. I was out with a couple friends, and we decided to come back to my place to get ready for going out to the bars. We walk into my bathroom (brush teeth, comb hair, cologne, etc) and on both mirrors, scrawled in lipstick, is this long message about being in love with me.
The worst part was one specific phrase that topped the awkward charts. ‘You make my giney throb’.
Apparently ‘Giney’ was some weird slang for vagina.
I caught hell over that for the better part of a month from my friends” Source.
Because The Artistic Talent Was The Real Problem
“He gave me paintings he made out of his own blood. They looked like a 2nd grader made them but we were in high school”Source.
True Love Is Permanent
“When I was in middle school, I was dating a boy. He was a bit on the weird side, which was okay because I kinda was too. But one day, my friend told me that he was doing to weird s–t in class and that it was creeping everybody out. So during break I went to go see him and he had carved my name into his arm. I noped the f–k out of there shortly after that. I wasn’t surprised to find out a few years later that he was admitted into a mental ward” Source.
Works Everytime
“Me and this guy I used to know were hanging out in his room playing crash tag team racing and very suddenly in the middle of a match he gets up and leaves the room and comes back with a camera and shows me a picture of his penis and says ‘What do you think?’
At the time when he showed it to me, I just glanced at the picture not fully realizing what it was and very rudely asked him if that was a blurry picture of his finger or something. He got really flustered and angry with me and went on to explain that he’s wanted to be with me for a really long time but didn’t know how to ask. That made things pretty difficult for a while because I always looked at him like a little brother. He stopped talking to me and got really dedicated to the church after that” Source.
I Like My Cake With Less Incest
“In high school, I was dating a girl that was one year younger than me. For my birthday, she gave me a cookie cake that said ‘Happy Birthday Daddy.’
Why? No idea. I assume it was sexual in nature but we had not had sex or really done a whole lot. Creeped me out and made me feel like a pedophile” Source.