Moving from "just friends" to something more romantic can be a scary and risky move. These people share their stories of falling for their friends and reveal if it ends in love or heartbreak.
The Ups And Downs Of Young Love
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“We met when we 13 and I was in love from the start. We remained friends for a good few years before we had a relationship which lasted close to 6 months when, out of the blue, she couldn’t do it anymore which broke my heart as I was still madly in love with her.
We tried to remain friends for a while but ultimately it was never the same and we drifted apart, which I blame myself for the most part, and she then remained my ‘what if’ for several years to come. Nobody was close to what I had with her.
Fast forward about 3 years and I was invited to a house party and I was hoping to get myself back out there. The moment I walked in the door she was standing on the stairs with the host of the party and I have never felt so freaking nervous in my life. We both mustered a ‘hi’ and scurried off. We met in the kitchen and began talking and it was like we’d never been apart. I had an amazing time just seeing her again but the time came for me to leave and I was left with a mixture of feelings ranging from being overjoyed to complete fear because of my vulnerability.
Long story short, she was scared too and added me on Facebook which led to the present day. In 4 years together we own a cat, live together, I’m still madly in love with her, we’re still best friends and next year I’m going ask her to marry me at Disney which we pre-discussed – I consider myself a lucky guy.”
“All I Really Wished For Was To Feel Wanted By Her”
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“Had a crush on my best friend for four years. Always believed she was never interested. It was pretty obvious I had feelings, but we never talked about it. After a few years, I guess I finally got it. I was always looking at her and she just never looked back. Its never gonna happen.
And then one day, she did. After years of nothing and finally moving on, it really messed me up. We ended up getting really close, inseparable even. And then one day, she just stopped cold. I think that messed me up even more. A few months went by, and we ended up getting really close again. We started dating, though calling it that would be a little wrong. We didn’t make anything official, but it was a relationship.
Things started out great, but like before, she soon turned completely cold. No affection, no hugs, no kisses. The night that sticks with me the most though was one night when we were watching Netflix. She lays down with me in bed, looks at me with a disgusted face, and just says: ‘You’re not gonna try and love on me tonight are you?’ That was the moment I knew for sure it was over.
We continued on for a while, but I just couldn’t take it. I had such strong feelings for her, and all I really wished for was to feel wanted by her, but she never made me feel that way at all. We broke things off a while ago, but I’m still not over it. I don’t think I will ever be the same. I’m lonely, but I don’t want to be with anybody. It also really killed my confidence in myself, and I don’t really know how to get that back. But above all, I guess I really felt such a strong connection towards her and I’m not ready to feel that way again.”
“I Started To Realize Why Our Relationship Was Going South”
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“I had a crush on my best friend in high school, we met when I was a freshman/ he was a sophomore. All throughout high school, there was a lot of flirtation but nothing more than that because he was very serious about school and I was always in and out of ‘relationships.’ He asked me to his senior prom ‘because a mutual friend of ours turned him down and I was next on his list.’ So, of course, I said yes, because like I said, we were flirty best friends.
During his prom, it was kinda awkward but fun. After that, we lost touch here and there for the next year because he moved out of state for a while.
When he finally came back into town permanently my senior year, we were once again in contact with each other. During that time I recently entered into a ‘relationship’ with some guy and my ‘best friend’ found out about it and got extremely angry. He was planning to ask me to date him until he found out and stopped talking to me for a short while. Yet when my best friend found out I had just been dumped he started talking to me again. He officially asked me to be his girlfriend the day before my prom and I said yes.
A couple of months later things were going okay, we were comfortable with each other, so in my mind, I thought everything was great. We were together for three years before I started to get tired of being with him. I was going to end things with him until I found out I was pregnant with his baby. We were young (21 and 22 years old by this point) and I was scared and didn’t know what to do. I decided that I needed him now more than ever and made the decision to stay with him.
After our baby was born, I started to realize why our relationship was going south. All throughout our relationship, he was very controlling. I HAD to call him 3-5 times a day. I HAD to answer his text messages shortly after he texted me. I HAD to sleep with him ‘because that was my job as his girlfriend.’ I HAD to help clean his apartment on the weekends even though we didn’t live together. Even after the baby was born this behavior continued. I was so busy with the baby that I didn’t have time to do all this that he wanted from me, so it led to constant arguing. It was in April, two days before my birthday, our baby was only 3 months old when I finally ended our relationship FOR GOOD! I told him that I had a baby to raise and I don’t need him to be another baby that I had to care for.
That was 7 years ago. I’m now married with another baby and I’m so happy! As far as I know, he’s always been single, just going on little dates here and there.”
“I Wrote Her A Long Message Describing My Feelings And…”
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“I was 15 or 16 at the time. My best friends were a pair of twins: a boy and a girl. The girl and I were particularly close and had amazing chemistry, a ridiculous amount of inside jokes, spent almost all of our free time together, and we always just got each other. I fell really, really hard for her (I know, I know, I was only 15, what did I know about love?).
Right before the second year of high school started, she found out her family was moving back to live with relatives in Europe due to family troubles. Distance definitely made my heart grow fonder.
I was pretty sure she knew that I liked her, but I had always gotten mixed signals from her. People who didn’t know us very well would often assume we were dating, but nothing ever happened and I never made a move because I was terrified of rejection and making things awkward between me and my best friend.
After about a year of her being gone (minus a couple short visits on holidays), I just couldn’t hold it in any longer and had to tell her. I wrote her a long message on Facebook describing how I felt about her and telling her that it was fine if she didn’t feel the same way, but that I needed to tell her regardless. She didn’t text or message me for a week, which was weird for us — we talked daily. Finally, after way too long, she eventually sent me a short message about something completely unrelated. I still distinctly remember the feeling of my heart sinking when I read that one-sentence message.
I learned a valuable lesson and eventually moved on. We’re still best friends today, almost 6 years later. Oh, and she realized about three years after this took place that she’s gay.”
A Risky Text
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“Valentine’s Day was coming up, and a guy I wasn’t interested in wanted to take me to dinner. I hadn’t declined yet and was asking my guy friend for advice.
Me: ‘So, (NAME) wants to take me to dinner for Valentine’s Day.’
Him: ‘Ah, where is he planning to take you?’
Me: ‘I don’t want him to take me anywhere actually hahaha.’
Him: ‘Why?’
Me: ‘Because I would rather go with you.’
Him: ‘I guess you should tell him that you’ve got plans, then.’
We were pretty much together from that point.
This was over text, and I wanted to throw up after I sent it to him. I remember pacing a hole in my floor waiting for him to reply. Our friendship had hints that it wasn’t strictly platonic, but I had gotten out of a relationship that ended in my ex sleeping with my best friend of 12 years, so I needed time, and he knew that, which is why I breached the subject first.
Now we’re married.”
She Fell For Her Straight Best Friend
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“Had a huge crush on her (I’m also a female) for a few months after we became best friends. Wasn’t sure how to admit my feelings or if I even should admit them. Eventually, I could feel the tension between us so I texted her one night after we hung out that I wanted to be more than friends. Turned out that she felt the same feelings.
We experimented with each other and had a good time for a few months. Then she realized she actually wasn’t interested in girls. This broke my heart and I realized I was in love with her. It was torture hanging out with her after we broke up, but she was and is an amazing best friend, so I made it work. I had many breakdowns, lots of crying, lots of mean words said, but this month I’ve started feeling better and think I have gotten over her. I still love her, though in a different way, and think we are soulmates. Sometimes I regret dating her, sometimes I don’t. We had some amazing memories and I finally discovered what love really feels like. It was amazing, but the aftermath really crushed me.”
Being Best Friends For 15 Years Makes The Transition Into Dating A Bit Tricky
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“My best friend of 15 years (we met in 6th grade and are now both 27) had gotten out of a longterm relationship a few months prior and I had been dating around for about a year after leaving a similar longterm relationship. This girl and I had never even had crushes on each other prior to this and had actually helped each other through all of our middle school/high school/college relationships. We even lived together in college for a year while dating other people.
At first, we just started chatting on gchat at work most days, as we had both recently started office jobs. Then our group hangouts started to transition into more frequent one-on-one hangouts. Eventually, the talking very organically got more and more flirty until it was hard to ignore. Rather than just addressing it, we mostly just made fun of each other in an, ‘Oh youuuu’ type of way and would say increasingly obvious flirtatious things to make the other one uncomfortable. We have talked now about how at this time we were both terrified and confused about what was actually going on, while both starting to warm up to the idea of the other one as an interest.
Our one-on-one hangouts also started to take on the form of date activities, such as hikes and dinner and movies, or just getting coffee. A couple nights there were minor hand squeezes, or maybe a brush on the stomach or leg, but it was still never directly addressed. Finally, after the text/gchat flirting reached a crescendo, I brought up the word ‘date’ before we were meeting for dinner. I think I said something roughly like, ‘Wow, I’ve never been this nervous for a hangout, it’s like a date!’
That night my main goal was to make what I considered to be a bold move and hold her hand. I was so nervous throughout the date though that I chickened out and resigned to failure as we walked to her car. Once we got to her car and were ready to say goodnight though, out of the blue, she got on her tippy toes, looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Is it okay if I kiss you now?’ To which I replied by leaning in and having one of the most romantic first kisses I’ve ever had. This essentially opened everything up. We hooked up a few days later after a party, kept it a secret from our friends until it was impossible not to, and were openly dating within the month.
We’ve now been dating for a year, have traveled together, helped each other move, started new jobs, gotten to know each other’s extended families even better, and I can honestly say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Both of us had dated a good amount before this, and having her already know about every one of my exes is actually quite liberating. She knows my best qualities as well as she knows my worst qualities. We already had a great line of communication that has only improved with our added intimacy. One of my favorite stories is that while both our dads proclaimed that they knew it all along, both of our moms just started crying happily when we sat down and told them.
In conclusion, while this happened very organically for me, if you’re out there trying to decide if you should make a move, I don’t think it ever hurts to at least test the waters. If you have some level of emotional intelligence and awareness, you should be able to figure out if it’s okay to keep inching along and it may end up being an amazing thing. We often still tell each other, ‘I can’t believe it’s you.'”
“We Easily And Quickly Became Best Friends And…”
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“We met each other when we were both in relationships. Immediately clicked, very easily and quickly became best friends. He helped me through some of my relationship drama, I helped him with his breakup and soon after my relationship ended, I realized how utterly perfect he was for me. I waited a little while – didn’t want him to be a rebound or whatever – but soon after we ended up together.
It’s astonishing how easy everything was. We already knew each other so well, knew each other’s stance on important things and knew which way we both wanted our lives to go. Living together came really soon and is going great. We understand each other’s needs so well, we get when the other wants some alone time or when we need some more intimate time together. We can communicate so well, we always have, and we hardly ever fight. The only times we fight is over nothing, because we’re both tired or hungry, and even then we tackle that problem together and both realize we’re being stupid.
I have always dreamed of having a rabbit, now we have two. Seeing him with the fluffers absolutely MELTS my heart and I can’t wait to buy a house and a dog and have children for more of that cuteness overload. Every day, I’m still as excited as the first day to go home and see him. I miss him even though we are never apart for more than half a day. He still is my best friend.”
She Said She Liked Him, Then She…
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“I told her my feelings, she said she liked me too. I was really awkward around girls so she was my first everything. First kiss, first girlfriend, etc. A week later she broke up with me because she wasn’t over her ex. She started texting another guy three days later. They started dating two weeks after we broke up. I’m still best friends with her, but it was rough for the first few months after that happened.
Nothing has torn me up more emotionally than giving her relationship advice for her new boyfriend especially since I still have feelings.”
For Years, They Were Too Scared To Say How They Felt
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“We’re both introverted. At the time (freshman-sophomore year of high school) neither of us had ever dated anyone before. Neither of us wanted to make the first move, so we spent two years as best friends, talking every day, telling each other everything, but not telling each other we liked each other. Halfway through our junior year, we happened to start talking about people we had crushes on in the past. I finally decided to make the first move and reveal that I had a crush on him. Fortunately, he had a crush on me too! We started dating. We went to the same college, and now we are 24 and engaged!”
“The Turning Point Came When…”
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“I met him at a party after a college football game in October. About two months earlier I had moved into a house with three people who were all friends — I didn’t know them before I awkwardly moved into their vacant room, but I was getting on with them really well and now they were introducing me to their ~squad~.
Anyway, he walked in and I could immediately tell he was great. He was charismatic and silly — he literally walked into this party wearing a lab coat and protective goggles (he was known for being a pseudo-bartender during parties, a mixology ‘scientist,’ if you will). When we were all standing around and talking outside, he saw that I was cold and put his lab coat around me.
Over the next couple of months, we see each other at parties every so often. I get his number from my roommate, put his name into my phone as ‘Bearded Bartender,’ and text him about making drinks for a party I was throwing for my 21st birthday. He helped me clean and decorate beforehand, and made me a tower of flaming drinks. I turned 21 on a Sunday so all the bars were closed, but that weekend he and a few others took me out downtown for the first time. We became close friends.
For months, we’d text each other all the time, goof around at parties, and when I was having a bad day he would come over with ice cream and watch The Bachelor with me. Once we stayed up all night long, just talking and hanging out in my living room. We were also very, very stupid. I liked him and didn’t think he liked me. He liked me but didn’t think I liked him.
One night we both ended up fooling around up with different people. He ended up getting intimate with a good friend of mine, which, obviously, caused a bunch of stupid drama. She knew I liked him, she wanted him but also to fool around with other guys as she pleased. They had a weird thing for about three weeks before he ended it to be with me — the turning point came when he was a little tipsy and texted me about his feelings for me, and I realized that a) he actually did ‘like like’ me, and b) I was just emerging from a really dark period of my life and couldn’t afford to turn down something that could make me happy for the first time in a very long time.
The first week we were officially a couple, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Being around him was comfortable and effortless and I was happy. We’ve been together for two years and he’s still my best friend.”
“She Said She Missed Me, Then Said She Had A Boyfriend”
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“We met in August of 2016. She was in two of my classes and she sat next to me in one of them. We started talking and soon became friends. Fast forward to January and I realized I liked her (after winter break where she came up to me, hugged me, said she missed me, then told me she had a boyfriend).
Soon after I became her best friend. She broke up with her boyfriend at the beginning of March. And I was there for her. She had no feelings for me until one day, like a week later, she had a dream where I was making out with one of my female childhood friends and she woke up with feelings for me. A few days later we got into an argument and I almost walked out of her life when she told me she had a crush on me.
I was shocked. I’m not a very attractive guy and she’s a super cute girl and she actually liked me. Didn’t walk out of her life, got closer than ever with her, and asked her out a month later. It’s August and we’re still together.”
“I Had Only Dated Men In The Past”
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“I became friends with a female coworker and became really close really fast. I hadn’t had a close friend in a long time but tried to play it off that I only had friendly feelings towards her. I had only dated men in the past, and she was dating a man when we met. One night we both hinted around our feelings and just blurted it out.
We’ve been inseparable since that night over four years ago and celebrated our second wedding anniversary in May. We both left the jobs where we met before we told anyone we were even together. It was weird to explain to my family and people I had known my whole life that suddenly I was with a woman, but everyone sees how happy she makes me, and now they don’t even question it.”
Despite What They Went Through…
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“He was a friend of mine since I was 5 years old, and we got together when I was 15. It didn’t last, and our friendship fell apart for a long time, but now things are good. We’re not friends the way we once were, but there’s a deep care and understanding that lives between us. We’ve been there for each other through some rough times and I know that if/when something bad happens in my life, he’ll always be there (and vice versa).”
He Has One Big Regret
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“I had a crush on my female best friend in high school. Nothing ever came of it. I was always terrified she’d say no and it would ruin me. I was happy just to have her in my life. Unfortunately, I don’t speak to her anymore. Not asking her out is really the only big regret I have in my life. Not because I think she’s the one, it’s just a huge ‘what if’ that’ll I never have an answer for.”