Dad Had The Perfect Zinger For His Unfaithful Wife
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“My father walked in on his second wife riding another dude. He was talking to his neighbor one day and his neighbor asked if he had bought a new truck. The neighbor said he’s been seeing a strange truck at the house during the day when my dad was at work. My old man told the neighbor to call him at work the next time he sees the truck.
A couple of days later, my dad got a call. So he headed home and sure enough, there was the truck. So he went into the house, walked upstairs and slowly opened the bedroom door to see his ex riding on top of another dude.
So instead of saying anything, he just stood there and waited for them to notice him. At some point they did, and he looked the guy dead in his eyes and said, ‘I hope you’re having fun because she’s all yours now.’
Apparently, the guy almost pooped his pants and apologized profusely. My dad knew who he was and basically just told him to shut up, but that she was going to be living with him now so he better clear some space.
She was a drinker towards the end of the relationship, and I’m pretty sure my dad just wanted a reason to leave anyway, so it all worked out.”
That’s One Way Of Handling The Situation
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“A few years ago, a female friend of mine walked in on her husband getting it on with another woman. She posted it on Facebook, then shot her husband, then herself.
I had commented jokingly on her Facebook page: ‘Did you cut his balls off?’
I later had several newspapers call me to talk about the story.”
“What Did You Do?”
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“I was in a military school and a bunch of us were sitting around a campfire shooting the breeze. A lieutenant walked over to us and joined the conversation. We were going through all the usual campfire topics and stories and eventually ended up talking about cheating exes.
The lieutenant said, ‘Man, I had that happen to me when I was in Ranger Battalion.’
We were intrigued and encouraged him to tell us what happened. He continued, ‘Well, we had been in Korea doing some joint training and ended up coming back a week early. I live with my girlfriend and headed to our house.’
He had stood up and was spacing out into the fire. ‘It was late at night, so I was quiet when I opened the door and headed upstairs. Apparently, she had been cheating on me for a while, and the guy was used to sleeping here. He heard me coming up the stairs and thought I was a burglar.’
He kept looking at the fire as he said, ‘He attacked me at the top of the stairs, so I responded.’
We looked at him and I asked, ‘What did you do?’
‘Oh, I killed him. Threw him right out the window.’
We were stunned by that since most of our campfire conversation had been fairly lighthearted, and just responded with a few Holy Craps and Wows. Someone asked if he got in trouble, and he didn’t – the police came and never charged him. The girl got a ride to her sister’s house and he had her belongings out on the lawn by morning. Good times.”
He Keeps Finding Himself In The Same Situation
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“Before my ex and I got together, she had been seeing this guy for about a year when she got pregnant. They had (apparently) been using protection, it was just one of those things. They had the talk and decided she was going to have an abortion.
Now, my ex was raised Catholic, so while she was rationally happy with the decision, there was a lot of guilt and anxiety surrounding it. She needed the help and support of her boyfriend to get her through it. They decided to go to the abortion clinic together.
At the time, she was living with her parents. So when the day of the abortion came around, she was a mess but didn’t want to let her parents find out. She waited and waited but he didn’t show up to drive her in, so she had to get a taxi.
All the while, she was calling the guy, hoping he’ll get there in time. She asked about changing her appointment. Apparently, it would have meant waiting quite a bit longer for the procedure. She decided she just had to do it alone.
Afterward, she was understandably shaken and upset, particularly because she’d had to do it alone.
She decided to go to his house to see what the problem was.
He answered the door in his birthday suit except for a hastily grabbed towel, with a girl disappearing up the stairs behind him.
What made it worse, in the long run, was it gave her a bit of a paranoia complex about cheating. After two years with her, I just couldn’t stand her not trusting me because she’d been done wrong in the past. She was constantly accusing me of cheating/wanting to cheat, interrogating me about everything I did, big arguments every time a picture appeared of me on Facebook having a good time in the presence of girls.
So we broke up. I felt bad for a while then moved on. She has called a few times since trying to rekindle what we had, but I’m with someone else now. Who also has a paranoia complex about cheating.
I run my own business and have a (slightly idiotic) 19-year-old girl working for me. (I’m 30) This girl suffers from verbal diarrhea and is well endowed in the chest area. My girlfriend hates her beyond words for reasons I think are closely correlated with her cup size (my girlfriend is fairly small). She keeps pressuring me to fire the poor girl because she doesn’t like her.
Tried to break up with her today but got hit square with, ‘If you leave me, I’ll kill myself.'”
Three Strikes And You’re Out
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“This actually happened to my friend quite recently. He was head over heels for her. They seemed very close, recently moved in together, and were one of those couples that always took photos of themselves together eating food. She had started to get close with some of her co-workers and they would occasionally go out places and do activities together. One night, he and his friends decided to meet up with her at a local bar. Once he got to the bar, he saw her making out with a total stranger. They fought but made up.
But then a few weeks later, he went to surprise her with flowers at work. He pulled into the parking garage to see her on her knees sucking off one of her co-workers. Even then, they ended up making up and being okay. My friend was very much in love and just thought that they needed to get away for a weekend together and clear things up. They decide to go down to the shore and rent a beach house for a weekend.
Two weeks later, he decided to go home for his lunch break. When he opened the door, he found her bent over on the counter and the same co-worker from the parking garage was full on launching the meat missile. He turned around and left. After work, he went home, had a good cry, and the next day gathered his things and never spoke to her again. He has yet to date another girl for fear of getting cheated on again.”
She Had The Nerve To Ask Him THAT After She Got Caught?!
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“I had to take lunch an hour early one day to cover for my sick boss that night as one of us had to be there at all times. I opened the front door and there they were on the couch, clothes scattered on the floor, scurrying to cover up. It’s burned into my head.
At that point, it gets blurry though. I froze for a second. I started seeing red and knew that if I didn’t get out of there something bad would happen, so I left. I got in my car, locked the door, turned off my cell phone, and started driving. I went back to work and pretended nothing happened. She tried to call me; I always said I was on another line and would call back when I could. She showed up about two hours before I got off and I had them tell her I was with a customer. She went back home eventually, but I didn’t. I slept in my car that night. I drove out on the local scenic parkway, parked at an overlook, and just sat on the hood of my car devastated. I didn’t move the entire night. I couldn’t sleep.
When I went home, it was only because I had to work the next day. She asked if we could have an open relationship; I said no; she kept cheating; we divorced.”
At Least She Had Her Friends To Comfort Her
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“I went to a party with my boyfriend and when it came time to leave, I couldn’t find him. We were in college and though we didn’t live together, I lived in a house right off campus with a bunch of our friends, and he stayed there every night. Basically, he just had another room in a house somewhere to keep up appearances for parents.
So, even though we couldn’t find him, the rest of us all walked home, figuring he just went and passed out there. He was not there when we got home, so I started getting worried. I’d been calling him prior to this, but then I started blasting his phone and calling other friends who might have seen him. I couldn’t get ahold of him and no one else had talked to him for a while, so eventually, one friend who was sober offered to drive me to his place to see if he was there.
When I got in the house and went to his room, at first I was relieved because I just saw a lump under his comforter. I figured he just decided to stumble there instead for some reason. So I grabbed the comforter and yanked it off, preparing to playfully jump on him and give him a hard time for scaring me.
When I did that, this girl just sat straight up in bed staring at me, and I guess I kind of delusionally just assumed his roommates had lent out the room to a friend for the night since he never stayed there. So the first word out of my mouth was, ‘Sorry!’ Then I saw him. I didn’t say or do anything else except immediately turn around and start out the door.
He jumped up and tried to follow me and grab my arm, and I just pushed him away and told him not to touch me. My friend in the car had come inside by now, and she figured out what was going on and basically just acted as a buffer so I could get to the car.
The only consolation for me, and I remember this very clearly, was that he was wearing polar bear-print pajama pants to cheat in. Like who does that?
All my friends back home knew we’d gone out looking for him, and when we came back home, they were all hanging out in the living room, and as I ran past to go to my room, I heard the friend who had driven me tell them what happened. I collapsed on the stairs sobbing, which was graceful and not embarrassing at all. Then I couldn’t sleep in the bed we shared, so I went down to the basement and my friends fed me and we watched ‘The Aristocats’ until I fell asleep.”
He Didn’t Even Deny It
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“I didn’t walk in on him, but I figured it out before he told me. There were a lot of little things, like the passenger visor mirror always being open. Him suddenly hanging out with friends all the time. Stuff like that.
I looked at the phone bill saw him texting a number over 800 times. I asked him about it and he claimed it was a guy from work. At first, I was fine but then he left to ‘find himself.’
I looked at the phone bill again and realized the number sent a lot of pictures. What guys send that many pictures? So I broke down and called it and got her voice mail. I confronted my husband of six years and he didn’t deny it. It was the worse day of my life.”
Despite The Eye Injury, She Was Able To See It All
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“I was dating my neighbor and his door was 10 feet away from my front door. One night, I had some friends over and he went out with his friends. We had some Nerf toys at my apartment and my guy friend shot me in the eye and scratched my cornea. It was so painful. I didn’t know what to do, it was late at night, and I had been drinking, so I decided the best thing to do was just take some allergy medicine and fall into a Benadryl coma.
I woke up the next morning and was in so much pain. I couldn’t open my eye and crying made it burn, which made me cry more. So, I ran over to my boyfriend’s apartment, let myself in (we had copies of each other’s keys), and as I was going up the stairs to his room, I kept thinking, ‘Hm, women’s shoes! How weird.’ And, ‘I wonder whose pants those are!’ But I was so set on having him drive me to the emergency room or something, so I just busted into his room and there he was, in bed with his best girlfriend. They hadn’t heard me come in, so I just stood there for an uncomfortably long time.
I ended up slamming the door behind me, running back to my apartment and was so upset with everything that I sat on the floor of my bedroom and had a full-fledged meltdown. I was unconsciously hitting the floor so hard with my hands that my knuckles were raw and bruised. My roommate eventually came in and dragged me to the ER where I was told I had an infection in my eye and had to get it flushed out.
Bad day.”
After Spying On Her Phone, He Set His Plan In Motion
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“I was working in Qatar in a desalination plant. I went home to Vegas spent a great day with my daughter and wife at the time. On the way home from Springs Preserve, we stopped for some food. My wife went into the store and her cell phone went off. I looked at the phone and saw a message; it was from someone I didn’t know. I put myself through the pain and looked through the messages.
Since I left, she had been cheating on me. Did I blow up? No, I bought my time perfecting everything. I checked everything with a fine tooth comb. I found out she was using our joint credit card to rent hotel rooms to sleep with this guy. I quietly removed myself from every account we had jointly. I told her I was going to leave on the 11th. However, I never told her where I was going. I went and stayed at my parents’ house. Everyday checking where she was and then on the 14th, I followed her to a hotel.
I followed from a distance and watched which room she entered. Twenty minutes in, I decided to go knock on the door. Low and behold she opened the door and saw me with a camera filming her. I told her it was over and to get out my house when she was finished.
I went home, deleted her number, blocked her on Facebook, and asked my parents to check in on my daughter. I left Vegas, leaving my problems behind.
Fast forward two months. The divorce was underway and she came back crying saying it was a mistake. She fought and fought, and would not grant the divorce easily. So I did the most sinister thing I could do. I told her she could keep the house.
She agreed. I bought the house for $323,000 back when the market was booming; this divorce happened during the recession. The house was valued at $156,000. I walked away from it smiling. I knew she couldn’t live up to the lifestyle I was giving her. She started falling behind on her payments, her SUV got repossessed, and the house was in foreclosure. While I, on the other hand, went down the road and bought a house worth $500,000 when the market was high for a steal at $212,000 when the market bubble had blown.
Then one night after moving on with life, I got a call from my ex-mother-in-law. She had gone out drinking, and while driving back home, she rolled her SUV. She passed away that night.
My biggest regret is never letting her know that we weren’t on bad terms. I mean, we talked but always kept it brief, never in detail about each other’s lives. Had I made peace with her, it may have been different…or maybe not.”
“I Was Just In My Car, Screaming And Sobbing”
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“I’m 20 years old, I’m from Pennsylvania, but go to school in Florida, so I’m away from home a lot of the year. Anyway, it was my sophomore year and my girlfriend and I were going on three years together, and everything seems just peachy.
I came home for Christmas break and the first thing I did was go and see her. I picked her up and we were just going to grab a quick bite to eat and catch up a bit. Halfway to the restaurant, she broke down crying and yelled about how she got violated by this guy that lived down the street from her. It turned out this happened three months beforehand and she was too scared to go to the police out of fear for her life. So I went to this guy’s work and waited for him to leave. I didn’t say anything and I just knocked him out cold and left him in the lot. I cared for her and supported her through her tough time like any good boyfriend would.
Fast forward to spring break. I told her I was going to the Bahamas but really I was going to surprise her at home and spend the week with her. So I flew into Pittsburgh and my friend picked me up and drove me home. He dropped me off at her place and I walked up to her front door. Her brother answered the door and was excited to see me and I went right upstairs to her room. Her door wasn’t locked so I just opened it a peeped and I couldn’t believe what I saw. She was pressed up against the wall getting it from the guy who ‘violated’ her. She saw me and froze. I had brought her some flowers and a stuffed animal and I just dropped them and ran.
I was in my car just screaming and sobbing. She came up next to the car and said, ‘Can we have a talk?’
So after I calmed down, she told me that she was sleeping with him for months, right after she said she got ‘violated.’ She confessed that she lied about it because she thought I would leave her and when I didn’t, it backfired on her. Needless to say, I was angry that she falsified such a claim and went off on her.
Fast forward to just a few weeks ago and I’ve been getting calls from her asking me for money because she’s pregnant and the guy left her. I say that was some karma that came to her.”
When He Caught Her, He Used The Words Guaranteed To Hurt Her Most
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“It was more like they walked in making out. We were due to get married in one week. I was studying and she was ‘out with female friends from work.’ I figured I’d just study at her apartment until she got in. Around midnight, she came through the door, all handsy and making out with a male co-worker.
Her mom has cheated from one relationship to the next and been married at least four times and is a general mess. Her biggest fear is becoming her mother, so I said, ‘Just like your mother.’ I took everything I owned from her apartment, took all her stuff out of my apartment, and left it on her front porch.
I basically cut ties with her. I was ‘helping’ pay for her living expenses, so I gave her one month to move out.
One year later, she wanted to meet for coffee to talk. She had been dating her old co-worker for the last year. I had gotten in shape and had been going to the gym for a couple of hours each day and lost 30 pounds. We talked and it was obvious she wanted to hook up, so we had a dirty, hateful time of it. This happened two more times and finally, her boyfriend found out. Other than one random Facebook message that I didn’t respond to, that was the last I heard from her.”
She Knew What She Would Find, But She Still Couldn’t Let Him Go
“I was at work while my boyfriend was supposed to be at home applying for a job. While I hate to admit this, I was checking his emails. I had never done that before and I have not done it since. It’s a disgusting thing to feel you need to do while in a relationship. If you are checking their emails and phones, then you shouldn’t be together.
On this day, I came across an email thread between him and this woman he met from OK Cupid. Instead of calling him up and confronting him, I decided to drive home and catch him red-handed. I left work in a rush and drove the 45-minute commute in absolute agony. I vacillated between extreme anger and sadness. By the time I pulled up, I had no idea what I was going to do when I opened the door.
I opened the door and they were nude on the living room couch. His eyes registered shock and surprise, while the girl looked terrified. I don’t recall exactly what I said, but I do remember that she was so scared I was going to hit her. I probably was ranting and raving. I felt like a lunatic. I wasn’t prepared for the emotions. She ended up getting dressed and leaving. I figured we were done with it, but unfortunately, she called up a few weeks later and was pregnant. She wanted money for an abortion. Well, my deadbeat ex had no money, so I paid for it. I didn’t want the woman to suffer needlessly. She had been innocent in this, even if she did have incredibly bad judgment.
I should have thrown my ex out then and there, but I didn’t. I was afraid of some threats he had made to me and my family, and I believed him. Luckily, I’ve been free of him for years, and I am in a stable, loving, amazing relationship. It took me a while to get back to ‘me,’ and looking back at this situation, I am ashamed of how weak and scared I was. I’ll never let anyone treat me the way he treated me.”