Contents edited for clarity. Finding the right person can take time and sometimes we gave to go through a lot of No's to get to that one Yes. However, this can lead to some very interesting and sometimes completely ridiculous experiences. Serial daters know that there are some crazies out there. There are people who really need to think twice before going out into the world looking for love. Sometimes it turns into a good thing though, so at least there is the occasional silver lining!
He Had Some Issues
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“I knew this guy because he would come here once every few years during his summer vacation, so I knew him from around basically. His grandma and aunt lived opposite my house, and we had exchanged only a few sentences throughout the years. He added me on some social media the fateful summer like four years ago and we talked a few times about random stuff, movies, his family, he seemed nice. He said that since he has a couple of days left in the area he wanted to go out for a dinner sometime, and I saw nothing wrong with that and agreed. To be honest, I did not even see it as a full-on date, more like getting to know someone better. But in person, he was like a completely different person.
We went first for a walk and he did not shut up for a like minute for one hour, complained about everything and everyone in his life, and did not even ask nor allow me to give a comment.
We sat down for dinner and he ordered food for me, without even asking. He got his drink and the bartender mentioned the caps were difficult to open, but he arrogantly and rudely brushed him off, tried to open them himself but ended up spilling juice all over himself. He yelled like it was the staff’s fault and something about how the country he was from was superior. He had no regard for people, was just yelling. At that point, I wanted to get under the table because that was actually a restaurant I frequently visit (from a small town with just a handful of restaurants). He continues to talk about how superior and above all that ‘incompetence’ he was, and when he would become manager, he would fire people like that. He continued with complaints for another hour.
I offered to split the check considering that he talked about money issues and because I obviously did not want to see him ever again so did not want to feel like I owe him anything. He yelled at me so I left the money on the table and walked away. He basically continued yelling at the staff for going after check again with the ‘in my country’ talk about how they have it on the spot. He grabbed my hand and said angrily to wait for him. He asked me literally two questions finally, I said I would grab a taxi but he forcefully insisted to walk me home. To avoid him making another scene, I accepted.
Yes, even though I knew I shouldn’t have. But I felt so awful for the way he behaved especially because that was at that time one of the go-to restaurants I went to with my friends and knew all the staff members, (not like personally, but you know, polite nod, they recognized us, stuff like that) and just wanted it to be over and get the heck out of there. I did not think it through definitely. But he knew where I lived either way, even though he was staying at a hotel, so at that moment, I genuinely just wanted to get as far away as possible with the least drama possible.
We walked in silence, I tried to shake him off and leave, he insisted to follow me home saying how there are probably some ‘dangerous’ people around. Then he tried to force himself on me on my front gate, even though I said I didn’t think we would work. His exact words were, ‘You owe it to me, we went on a date, I did not waste my money for nothing.’
I literally pushed him off and threw another 20 bucks (besides the ones I already left for my meal in the restaurant) at his face, saying, ‘Here, we are done.’
I got instantly in the yard, locked the fence, while hearing him yell, and sent him a text that I will call the police if he did not get out of there. He left.
The worst part was, his aunt was our neighbor, my mom knew his mom and were good friends, and the next day, on my way out she literally had the audacity to ask ‘how did it all go?’
I am pretty sure she heard him screaming awful things since literally, their house is right near mine, across the street, literally and I told her just, ‘You should have raised him better.’
They never spoke to me again. I am absolutely fine with that.”
A Little Happy Ever After
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“Before I met my husband, I went on a date with a guy I met on a dating app. He seemed kind of cute and normal, we clicked through messages, so we decided to meet for coffee at a park.
Within five minutes of conversation this man mentioned his cat. I like animals, I had animals, so I said, ‘What’s your cat’s name?’
He told me. Along with the other 14 (yes, let me say that again- 15 total!) cats he and his mom owned.
Oh, yeah. Also, he lived with his mom. But really his mom lives with him apparently. And the car he’s driving is his mom’s, but he was keeping it tuned up. Also, he mentioned to his mom that we were going on a date and showed her pictures of me, and she agreed that our features combined would make an agreeable grandchild. What the heck?!
I got right out right out of there, and this guy proceeded to somehow find me on social media (without knowing my last name) and messaged me every day for three weeks about why I was not answering his phone calls or text messages. So I blocked him. Then, he found me on another dating app somehow and messaged me on there! The messages included, but were not limited to: how he thought we would make a great couple and I’d make a great wife, how if I didn’t like cats he had no problem putting them in his garage when I would come over (again, all fifteen of them), how he’d like to meet my dog he somehow found out I owned, and how he thought I was so pretty, but had I tried being a blonde yet?
I deleted that dating app, and moved shortly after a few hours away (for unrelated reasons) and met my wonderful, amazingly normal husband. I went to a coffee shop (all dolled up and cute in my favorite sweater) and this idiot ran into me and spilled coffee all over my favorite sweater. He swears it was an accident.
Anyways, I let him buy me another coffee, then married him, then birthed his child. And every year on our anniversary he gives me a new sweater to make up for my favorite one being ruined. Bless his heart. He’ll never make up for it. And I plan on staying a red head forever.”
It’s Always The Nice Guy
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“I went on what I thought was a friend hangout with an exchange student. I met him playing soccer at the college. He seemed really friendly and kept asking to get dinner together. I was single but still mentally getting over my ex who had cheated on me, so I told him I wasn’t in a place to date but that if he wanted to be friends and check out the city, platonically and no physical stuff, I’d be game. He said that was all he’d meant and agreed it would be fun.
We went to get dinner and all was fine. On the way out he physically picked me up with no warning. I asked him to please put me down because I don’t like being picked up, very calmly and politely. He laughed and said he’d looked through my social media and knew I used to be chubby but that I looked fine now so I didn’t have to be shy about men lifting me. I was obviously incredibly weirded out but he’d been so nice before so I chalked it up to cultural differences and brushed it off
I dropped him back off at his house and he invited me in so I could ‘say hi to his roommates.’ It was still light out and I’d been very clear about the platonic bit so I figured what the heck. He immediately steered me to his room, where he got out a head scarf that he told me belonged to his mother and that his future wife will wear and proceeds to tie it around my head. I awkwardly told him it was lovely and tried to return it to him, while he insisted that I keep it. I was feeling real weird then and wanted to get out of there without setting him off, so I repeated that I couldn’t possibly accept such a lovely gift with such meaning to his family. Then he grabbed me, fell backward onto his bed holding onto me, and tried kissing me. I shoved him off and just started screaming at him at this point, and then he tried to do it again.
I ran out of the house while he followed telling me how stuck up I was. Then he texted me the next day saying he couldn’t believe how frigid I was and how dramatic I was being.
I blocked him and he showed up outside my work when I was closing a few days later (I never told him where I worked), with a wireless phone charging brick because according to this fool, ‘I must be having problems keeping my phone charged since I haven’t been texting him back.’
Ironically enough, had he not pulled back the veil on his deep wells of nice-guy-ness, I probably would have considered dating him when I was ready. He’d been so polite, friendly and nice for two months at soccer up to that point. I had no idea that was lurking beneath the surface.”
Was He Trying To Impress Her Like This?
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“Years ago I met a guy on a dating website, we talked for about two weeks and I thought he was really cute and funny, we shared a lot of ‘nerdy’ interests and seemed to click. It’s really unusual for me to be attracted to someone/want to date, so I was excited when we made plans to meet up. He asked if I could meet at his place that was 40 minutes away, and I agreed since he said he’d drive us around for the date itself. He opened the door and looked nothing like his pictures, honestly just unkempt and frumpy. I get that people post their most flattering pictures, and I didn’t want to be judgmental based on my own expectations, so I wanted to continue and see how we got along. Instead of heading off to our date, he invited me inside to check out his game collection first since it’s something we had talked about having in common.
What I saw was a completely empty living room except for a tv on the floor hooked up to a gaming system, a cardboard box of games and a lone wood chair. Bare walls, no other furniture, items, etc. He did offer me the chair while he sat on the floor to show me some of his games. I made light conversation about it while he played some, all the while trying to ignore the mattress with no sheet on the floor that I could see through his bedroom door down the hall. After about 20 minutes I asked about the plans he had for our date, which I hoped would be some kind of activity or getting food, since I really wanted to get out of the creepily empty house that we were alone in as soon as possible. He told me that he had some friends showing up, so we met them outside, all of whom seemed very nice. They stood around talking for another 20 minutes until he suggested to them in a very weird tone that almost seemed rehearsed, a nerf fight. They all agreed and I did too. It wasn’t what I was expecting but sounded fun! Except that I didn’t get a nerf toy to join in with. I ended up just sitting there on the front steps watching them run around his front lawn shooting nerf darts at each other. I tried to be a good spectator and cheer them on, but it was incredibly awkward, like a show he put on for me to watch. After watching them chase each other around for a while, he asked if I wanted to go do something and I agreed, thinking our date would actually start.
What we did though was walk down the street (I don’t think he ended up even having a car) to a local game shop where he and his friends began playing a game. I don’t play tabletop games and had no cards of my own, no idea how the game worked or anything. He didn’t really engage with me beyond playing the game and narrating what he was doing, again like he was showing off or performing for me without actually interacting or talking to me. One of his friends could tell how uncomfortable I was and struck up a conversation with me, explaining the rules of the game, asking me questions about my interests, etc. After half an hour of sitting through that I decided I just couldn’t handle it anymore and got up to leave. My date followed me out of the building and without saying very much else and tried to kiss me on the mouth as I was leaving. I immediately dodged it, told him no thank you, left and never spoke to him again.”
“It Was So Bizarre”
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“The one where I didn’t realize it was a ‘date.’ Years ago I had just recently moved to a new neighborhood and the neighbor guy (two houses down) invited me and my kids to a bonfire. He had a daughter just a bit older than my own and assured me there would be plenty of other people and kids there.
We got there and the kids all started playing and running around which was great. I sat down and started talking to the lady next to me. I was thinking this was a great way to meet new people in the neighborhood and was feeling pretty good at the moment. Then she asked me how I met her brother. I thought, ok, it’s a family member, no big deal and I explained I was a new neighbor. She then excitedly grabbed my arm and said how happy she was her brother and I got together so quickly.
What?? Turned out, every adult there was related to this guy and he’d told them all I was his new girlfriend and this was his chance to introduce me to his family. I was trying to see if this was an elaborate prank while internally screaming and he came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. He introduced me (by the wrong name, which made it even more surreal) and said he was so happy to finally have me there.
All of these people were beaming at us and all I could do was weakly say, ‘You’re wrong. I just met you four days ago. I’ve only just moved to this neighborhood two weeks ago.’
I then grabbed my kids and dragged them home. My kids weren’t allowed to hang out with the daughter unless it was a group of the neighborhood kids, and never at their house. I avoided that guy in every way possible and have no idea how he explained my quick retreat to his family. Nothing too crazy happened afterward. I simply avoided him, made sure my kids avoided him, and when meeting the rest of the neighbors kind of brought it up in conversation and they’d nod and say, ‘Yeah, he’s a weird one.’
The part I kept replaying over and over was his introduction of me using the wrong name – it wasn’t even close. It was so bizarre.”
I Have Questions
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“This woman I went out with in El Paso claimed she could see angels in three different colors and mentioned how one time a girl that was covered in dark scales and red glowing streaks between the scales came to her in the middle of the night and crawled to her bed. She claimed she placed her hand on the girl and an evil spirit left her. She then said that while I was in the bathroom, an angel came to her and told her when I would die, what age, and how.
I didn’t let her tell me. When I returned from the restroom and sat back down, she said, ‘You know, while you were gone, an angel stood in front of me right where you were seated and told me when you would die, how old you would be, and the cause.’
I told her I’d be right back and that I left something in the bathroom. I left the place outright, completely creeped out and wondering the kind of person she was and what strange stuff she was getting into.
I did not want to know this information, and I’m not one to invest in those that claim they know any part of my fate. I feel like if I knew that information from her I’d probably instinctively dismiss it but I’d have it on the back of my mind for a while and may allow it to subconsciously affect my decisions or thoughts.
She told me she’s in this very odd meditative group that meets weekly. Apparently they are called, you can’t just walk in and join. After a while, you grow wings that only you and others of the called will ever see. Once you have your wings, you will later inherit healing powers and can ward off evil spirits, and those evil spirits ironically are attracted to you because deep down they want to be healed. That explains the little girl that crawled to her in the middle of the night.
She said she would only be in El Paso for like two more months then she would go to South America on her angelic retreat for a year. She wouldn’t be allowed to contact me or anyone for a year as it’s apparently some rite of passage thing they do.
I’m like, then why did she want to go on a date if she’s gone in two months for a year, with no contact?”
That Escalated Quickly…
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“I’m terrible at first dates. I have no idea of anything fancy to do so I find it’s best to keep it simple and flexible or maybe I’m just a bit stingy. You can’t get more simple than going for a walk in nice weather in some greenery and flower show while stopping off at different places for a drink. It’s easy for either person to leave if it isn’t working or has little time, for activities to easily change if the venue isn’t great, and for things to carry on and on if everything feels great. The food trucks were a tad coincidental as it wasn’t an original planned route, but I knew they were there that day and had a good mix so just walked in that direction. She didn’t come across as someone who insisted on an overly expensive dining experience anyway. The bar at the end, if we had ever got that far, would have been a nice place to relax after all that wandering with some possible dancing as the drinks flow and the vibe picked up, but alas it was all a game for her and the husband.
It seemed to be going alright for a while. We met late afternoon and went for a stroll around town doing a little bit of a pub crawl with a drink at each followed by some food at a monthly food truck festival I knew about which was going to be followed by a local bar and dancing. I kept seeing the same guy at all the locations obviously following us. On a toilet break, I mentioned something to one of the pub doormen who asked him to leave politely although that got a little heated. She ran over to the doorman and explained that it was her husband. They had a thing of watching each other go out with someone and maybe watching them do the deed. I did drop in a question if they had ever done more like stealing from someone and she accidentally said it had happened, but only a couple of times, before trying to say that she didn’t mean that. I left them with the doormen and reported them to the police.
I’d had a nice time until that point anyway so left, spoke to the police, called a local cousin, and grabbed some Thai takeaway.
It’s Bad When They Push You Towards The Ex
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“I met a girl at a nice gastropub. We started chatting and she was immediately being argumentative and picking holes in every mundane thing I said. She was kind of aggressive about it. She mentioned her best friend who had a very unique name. I knew a girl with the same name and we quickly figured out it was the same person. Turns out the girl I was dating was best friends with my ex-girlfriends stepsister. This ex of mine was one of my great loves and broke my heart by cheating after two years dating. I dated her from 16 to 18 years old, so it was just stupid kid stuff in retrospect and we were never really meant to be together. I told her how my ex and I broke up and she loved the story.
What happened next is the best part. Literally to make me uncomfortable, and for no other reason, she decided to call my ex right there that I hadn’t spoken to for years. My ex answered and my date handed me the phone. I said hi, how are you, etc. It was actually nice to speak to her. But the next thing she said was, ‘What the frick are you doing on a date with her? She’s nuts. You need to leave.’
I told my ex that I was quickly figuring that out and thanked her for the advice. I did leave basically right after that. Our food hadn’t even arrived yet. I told her that this was not going well and I wasn’t not sure why we would want to prolong the torture any longer. I tracked the waitress down across the room. I paid for all of our drinks and food and left without saying another word. The total duration was maybe 15 minutes.
I later called my ex and thanked her and we rebuilt a friendship. We are both married now and hang out together as couples. While our relationship failed there was still a lot of love and respect there that isn’t burdened by mistakes we made as kids. I’m not sure if we would have become reacquainted without this awful person doing it for us.
The girl I was dating later called to apologize. She did a really good and sincere job and owned her part. She admitted she wasn’t good at dating and begged for another chance but I couldn’t get over the first impression, or the warning I’d been given by someone who’s opinion I valued. If this was her on her best behavior I could only imagine how bad it got.
Years later I’m sure she too grew from these mistakes but any desire I had to know her was killed in those first few minutes. I hope she is much better and healthier today.”
Being Rude Is Not Attractive
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“She was a nasty rude person. Maybe she had a bad day, who knows, but she said something that I just lost patience with and scooted basically mid-meal. I was 23 or 24 at the time. A message to young people, do not do a restaurant for a first date unless it is someone you know/are already friends with and know there’s a spark before you sit down to a meal. Go for drinks or coffee, it’s cheaper, more casual, easy to converse, and it’s also easier to disengage. You can pound a brewski or a coffee and scoot away in seconds; unlike a meal.
We went to a cool-but-not-expensive hipster-ish restaurant and it was a Friday night and they were busy. She complained the whole time about the service being slow. Then she called the staff stupid for having a hard time understanding her over the loud noise and she made fun of the other customers in a senselessly mean and petty way. The breaking point was when she made a comment about my appearance that in hindsight must’ve been meant as some flirtatious shade, but I just took that personally, Regardless of intent it was an unflattering thing to say.
I wolfed my food and then signaled for the check. I waited an agonizing five or ten minutes while it came, then stood up, threw down enough cash for my meal and a generous tip for both of us (she’d been such a monster to the servers I knew she wasn’t going to tip anything), and started putting my windbreaker on.
She asked me, ‘Are you cold?’
I responded, ‘No.’
‘Oh. Where are we headed next then?’ She asked.
‘Home,’ I said.
And when I said that she looked confused for a second, then gave me a coy look and said, ‘Oh ok, yeah, I’m down for Netflix,’ and, realizing what she thought I was implying, I just said, ‘Oh, no, I meant alone.’
And then I left, out the patio right onto the street and freedom.”
A Very Strange night Indeed!
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“I went to a bar and met this cute girl and we got along pretty fine, she invited me back to her place but it turned out that she was with her friends at the bar and they were just giving her some space for us to talk. They were all wasted and her friend was insisting on driving home so she (her friend) agreed to let me drive them home because the friend was very set on not leaving her truck parked outside a bar overnight.
We got all the way to their apartment complex and then getting into the parking spot was tricky so the wasted friend/truck owner insisted on parking (and pulled the ‘I legally own this vehicle’ card). I was some guy her friend just met at a bar so I was like, ‘Okay then.’
Within five seconds she backed the truck into a drainage ditch and got it stuck. We all had to push the truck and got covered in mud. While we were doing that, the girl I met at the bar had lost her wallet so I dug through the mud water ditch at like 4:00 am and didn’t find her wallet. We got back to her place and the mood was definitely ruined, so we ended up eating a random cheese and meat platter from Safeway on her kitchen floor at like 4:00 am. I slept on the couch and woke up early and I thought well, she was great it was just the whole truck thing that ruined it.
I looked for a pen and paper to write down my number before leaving, all I could find is a piece of paper taped to the (inside of) the door. It was a court date notice for a domestic violence hearing. I just left and chalked it up as a strange night.