Dave’s Dilemma

Ever worry your significant other might just be living a double life? Well, not necessarily like they’re cheating but maybe, just maybe, they’re a completely different person than you originally thought? Not trying to get you worked up about your partner or spouse, but it happens! Today we’re specifically talking about a hapless guy named “Dave” who is caught between a rock and a hard place. But more specifically, his own morals and his own wife, “Tara.” Either way, things don’t look exactly cheery for him.

So you’re probably wondering what the situation is. Put simply, Dave has been married to his wife Tara for about two years, but he’s recently discovered she’s as nosey as a private eye. The fortunate thing is Tara has not chipped Dave with some weirdo tracking device, she just has prying eyes for a certain somebody; her ex-husband.

Yeah. Yikes.

But give her some slack. The whole fiasco makes weird deranged sense for about two seconds when you hear things from her point of view. But before we delve deeper, you’ll need a little more background information to make your own judgment call. This is sarcasm, obviously, but trust me when I say crazy has its own way of rationalizing itself. Poor Dave just happens to be the man to make the judgment call.

Tara Gate

So as you might guess, Dave is in a classic case of ‘Am I The A***hole.’ He can bust TaraGate wide open and risk his wife never talking to him ever again, or keep his mouth shut and be complicit in some sketchy illegal business.

Did I also mention there is a child involved in this situation, too? Now, motherhood is an instinct that will make some protective, but paranoia is another animal altogether. What adds another layer to this story is Dave and Tara both share a six-year-old girl named, “Dani.” Tara shares custody of Dani with her ex-husband/prey, “Tristan.”

Dave is a simple guy who wants only to keep his name clean and family drama-free. But his most recent discovery may jeopardize the delicate balance.

So, as Dave explains, Tara’s ex-husband Tristan hasn’t dated anyone since the divorce. For Tara, this is good because she doesn’t like the idea of a stepmother bossing around or possibly abusing her daughter. Okay, so a little extreme but I guess keeping things simple for young Dani is a good thing. But things changed when eight months ago, Tristan started seeing his new girlfriend, “Sarah.” As you can imagine, Tara was livid at this news.

Dave kept his mouth shut. I mean who can blame a guy for getting a girlfriend almost three years after the divorce? If anything, maybe she should’ve been happy her daughter’s father was getting back on his feet. But Tara certainly didn’t see things that way. What happened next only made things worse.

What’s Best For Their Daughter?

So what happened next? You’re probably expecting something wild and uncategorically devious from big, bad Tristan and Sarah, right? Well, as his relationship with Sarah become more serious, Tristan understandably introduced her to his daughter, Dani. Are eight months too soon? Maybe this is a debate for another time, but Tara didn’t like this biz one bit. What made things even worse was the fact Dani genuinely liked Sarah’s company. 

Dave, once again trying to live drama-free and not wanting to fan any flames, simply kept his head down. But he couldn’t help but be weirded out by Tara’s demands to meet Sarah. Okay, so maybe “demand” is a strong word. Tara may sound a bit crazed, but she simply wants to get to know the people in her daughter’s life.

That much is understandable, but these things often take time and mutual trust is needed between both co-parents. Are eight months too soon? Is Tara asking too much to meet Tristan’s girlfriend? These are both valid questions with debatable answers. But regardless of opinion, I believe everybody can agree Tara’s scheme was not only crazy, but simply illegal.

“Not A Crook!”

So like we said before, mutual trust is a must for co-parenting. Tristan entrusted Tara with his house key in case of emergencies and because most of Dani’s stuff is over there as well. Now not to call Tristan naive, but it turns out he definitely trusted the wrong person with the key. At the same time though, I can’t imagine anybody predicting what Tara had in store.

Now here finally lies the crux of TaraGate. Dave is now at a perilous crossroads between his wife and her ex-husband, whom he barely knows. So while Tristan and Sarah went out of town for a trip, Tara broke into their home and installed several surveillance cameras inside.

Yep. Some real psycho, invasion of privacy type stuff. The funny thing is, Tara would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for Dave doing some snooping of his own. He found out about the plan via some text messages Tara had between her own mother. So even Dave’s mother-in-law was in on it too!

The shock of the break-in smacked Dave right in the face. He’d always found his mother-in-law bitter and conniving but he did not expect his own wife to actually go through with her crazy plan! It’s funny, just when you get to know somebody, you find out they’ve broken several federal laws to spy on her ex-husband and his girlfriend.

After connecting all the dots, Dave felt a pit in his stomach. His gut reaction was to tell Tristan immediately but he really didn’t know him very well at all. He had just landed himself in the middle of a hairy situation. It was vital Tristan play his cards right, and decided to confront Tara about her paranoid scheme.

Dave Sits Tara Down For A Talk

Dave was hoping for a rational discussion with Tara but unfortunately, he was talking to an increasingly irrational person. When confronted, Tara rationalized her actions in a way that would only make sense to an incredibly paranoid person. She said she had to keep an eye on her ex because she wasn’t sure what Sarah’s intentions were. Tara had already assumed Sarah would be moving in soon and she needed to know how she would treat Dani.

Though Dave could understand his wife’s uneasiness he was firm when he told her this plan was not only wrong but highly illegal. So illegal it would in fact ruin Tara’s chances of ever getting full custody of her daughter!

Even when faced with the gravity of the situation, Tara brushed Dave off saying the surveillance cameras were only temporary until Sarah could get the “all clear” from yours truly. Dave pressed the point harder but was only met with more resistance. In fact, Tara completely lost her temper and demanded Dave stay out of her business. She then flipped the script and claimed he did not care about Dani’s safety or wellbeing, as if bugging your ex-husband’s home was somehow mutually exclusive?! Crazy!

The thing is, Tara didn’t even have any reason to believe Sarah would mistreat Dani whatsoever. By now, Dave had heard enough and had to put his foot down. He left Tara with an ultimatum; remove the cameras or he would tell Tristan the truth.

It should be obvious to Dave his wife has plenty of red flags and he should probably reconsider this whole marriage thing. As you can imagine, Tara didn’t budge on the topic. In fact, she went on the offensive and warned Dave if he told her ex there was “going to be problems.”

Left with no choice, Dave did what he had to do. He wrote: “I’ve decided to tell him; there is no way this is going to end well for Tara, no matter how hard she tries to downplay the situation. Yeah, I’m a coward, but that is her opinion. I told her I was not going to get caught in the middle of this whirlpool but she insisted I was the one trying to get involved, still ignoring how messed up her actions were. She can go ahead and turn every argument into a screaming match where I’m the one to blame but I’m getting sick of it.”

So What Does Everybody Else Think?

Which leaves us to the question, of what’s the stronger compulsion? Love or doing the right thing? Dave was certainly conflicted about the whole thing since he posted his situation in a Reddit board where he asked users for advice and opinions. Here are some of the overwhelmingly positive yet concerned responses.

“Forgot all the legal stuff for one minute and think about how wildly inappropriate this is for your wife to do. This isn’t normal behavior it’s creepy as heck. There is definitely something wrong in her head. If she’s capable of doing this what else is she capable of doing? If she’s recording them she 100% recorded you,” said this Redditor.

Other users even mentioned the possibility Tara is not even over her ex-husband yet which would explain her constant snooping.

Another Redditor had this to say about Tara:

“She is clearly not over her ex, which is why she was happy he hadn’t moved on. But when the threat comes in the form of a new girlfriend, it’s another story. Do not think for a second this is only about the daughter. Even if it is, it is very controlling and you should start wondering if there are reasons for you to stay in such a marriage.

There are three people in that house who are unaware they have no privacy. If she thinks she has the right, she is mistaken.

I believe they have the right to know. An observant parent will know if their child is being mistreated, even if they say nothing. You can try to convince her. If she and her daughter are so close, then she daughter would confide in her if something was wrong. I don’t think it will work though because of her feelings towards Tristan. I’m just throwing it out there in case you want to make a last attempt at convincing her to remove the cams. Good luck.”

So what would you do? Keep things a secret or possibly betray the love of your life in favor of her ex-husband?